The Seven Golden Rules of Housework Minimalisation

Hubby and I have finally reached steady-state status in our housework routine. This is a good time to dispense some tips for all folks out there who are like us - having heavy workloads and silly bosses who get in the way of more important things in life, like family commitments and housework.

Over the past 6 months, I’ve developed some principles to minimise the amount of housework that I need to do. I call them the Seven Golden Rules of Housework Minimalisation. (Seven is a magical number that signifies completeness and perfection, eg. 7 days in a week, 7 colours in the rainbow.)

Follow these Seven Golden Rules and I can guarantee that compared to the average household, your housework load will decrease significantly!

Disclaimer: Just like services provided by slimming centres and cosmetic surgeons, your results may vary.

The Seven Golden Rules of Housework Minimalisation

Golden Rule #1 - If it can wait, let it wait
I know of people who sweep or mop everyday. But why bother when it doesn’t get unbearable until Saturday comes? This Golden Rule also explains why we have 2+1 laundry baskets (please refer to Golden Rule #9).

Golden Rule #2 - If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it
This good ol’ American principle also applies to housework - if it doesn’t look dirty, don’t bother cleaning it.

Golden Rule #3 - If it is broke, hubby will fix it
If it does look dirty, I guess you gotta clean it. But get the hubby to do it. The principle here is that housework must be shared. Although hubby knows it and willingly does housework, he tends to be rather forgetful at times. This commandment ensures that hubby doesn’t forget, so your share of the housework is reduced further.

Golden Rule #4 - If you can’t see it, it’s clean
Together with Commandment #2, you can be rest assured that only the most necessary and most minimal housework will be done. Very efficient.

Golden Rule #5 - If you can see it, follow Commandment #1 and #2
‘nuff said.

Golden Rule #6 - Multi-task, multi-task, multi-task
I heard a story (how true it is, I don’t know) about a teacher who would jump on the spot to exercise while loading clothes in the washing machine, while planning her lessons. Hmmm. But let’s be more realistic. Give it some thought, and you’ll realise there are several one-armed chores – brushing your teeth, applying moisturiser, or brushing your hair. The possibilities of multi-tasking during these one-armed chores are endless! Pack the room, sort the laundry, use the toilet, read the papers! Be creative! And while we’re at it, did you also realise that your legs are free while tackling these chores?

Golden Rule #7 - Fall sick
This is the last desperate measure, and you can only use it if Golden Rule #3 is firmly in place. Otherwise, utter household chaos will result. Here’s how Golden Rule #10 works: when you fall sick enough, it is really impossible for you to do housework. Hubby will lovingly insist that you rest and not do any housework, so that you can recover (and while you’re at it, ask for porridge or your favourite food). Magically, the housework gets done. I’ve tried it one Saturday and it worked wonders (it helps that Hubby is a better cook than I). Hubby promptly tried it the very next Saturday.
The magic happened the second time too.